Hebrew School


Protocols of the Hypertexts of Zion (St. Nicholas)

gangsta rabbi [impose]

eli roth plugs inglourious basterds on tmz [heeb]

can a knesset debate improve israel’s eurovision chances? [haaretz]

on details, “hot jewish girls,” and sloppy, knee-jerk misogyny [jezebel]

the hanukkah story [nytimes]

yiddish king lear on the relief roll [forward]

hipsters busted for repainting bike lanes removed at satmar request [failedmessiah]

photo stroll [eli valley]

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Who’s your Jew?: Let’s organize!

“Who’s your Jew” is a series of posts where Hebrew School attempts to digest, swallow and/or spit out his experiences around this project’s creation and, by extension, mainstream Jewish organizational culture in the United States.

It’s important for us as Jews to organize. Here we are 10-20 years ago. We laughed about our hair styles when someone posted these pictures of us on Facebook last week. Brings back memories though!

Seriously, though, we were being honored as Potential Future Jewish Leaders, (PFJLs) because it’s the youth who will carry on our traditions. I think it was Rabbi Akiba (or possibly Whitney Houston) who said, if you can’t convince the youth, you can’t convince anyone.

I’m immensely proud of the .5%-1% of us that have gone on to be active and contribute to Jewish Life. Just last week for example, I had the privilege of being a Hora Motivator/Catering Service Technician at Harvey’s (above, 2nd from left) oldest kid’s bat mitzvah.

We’ll never forget our free first trip to Israel. It really opened our eyes and none of us was the same when we returned. Gave us a sense of purpose.

It’s important as Jews that we have heroes. People that the younger generations can look up to. Did you nominate your Jewish hero today?

I’m worried about how we might keep our children “engaged.” That’s why we need centralized, well-funded leadership that can determine the appropriate messages for our publications, and also possibly do photoshoots featuring images of attractive young adults.

Hope we don’t see the “rise of Old Europe” again in our lifetime.

It’s great to have secular cultural events to bring our people together, since there are all sorts Jews from different walks of life.  Some of us are bankers and lawyers, but some of us are art critics and sports professionals too. Some of us keep Kosher, and some of us are vegetarian. We try to organize Jewish events with open bars and free food  in major cities every 4-6 weeks. In a way this sort of reminds me of my sad Jewish grandpa who would give me a 20-dollar bill just so I would sit and listen to him, but remember this is a different generation.

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Harvey’s cousin– the one who was really quiet in high school– moved with his family to the West Bank a few years ago and recently started helping put up these signs. But I still worry about today’s kids. Where are our next “inglourious basterds?”

earlier Who’s your Jew: Hebrew School quiz!



Protocols of the Hypertexts of Zion (Chicken-Dancing to Yiddish Mento)

what i learned on jdate: love and death [jewssip]

brooklyn young adults live together in a progressive commune [nydn]

shabop shalom [teruah]

abuse comes to light: hasidim silence on perverts cracking [nydn]

media jews violate kosher at spotted pig [gawker]

israel stance was undoing of nominee for intelligence post [nytimes]

jewess jeans: the second coming [heeb]



Purim 2009 wrap
March 12, 2009, 11:14 am
Filed under: jewish | Tags: , , , , , ,

Lot of good costumes this Purim. A lot of near-misses, too!

Here’s some highlights and lowlights from around the interwebs…

above: Mordechai? Haman? drunk? sober?

New York.

Jerusalem.

Hebron.

Madonna, seen here emerging from some sort of kabbalah Purim party in Manhattan, thoroughly uninspiring.



Jews make love, war, music

It looks things are a little quieter in Israel/Palestine/Gaza, I guess, but I suppose you would really have to be there to know.

My cousin nomadmatan, who made aliyah last year, is there putting in his time in the forces. He’s a master linguist and Arabic translator.

He was twittering just now about arriving to base, mentioning how warm it was. Here in Brooklyn, it is a predictable mix of 2-4 inches of slush. It sometimes seems hard to reconcile his occasional dodging of qassams with my existence here in New York, making weird Jewish music. But I do think we’re both wandering nomads, and for that I love him.

“silence in between the aleinu” – hebrew school (demo)



“If there were f-ing rockets hitting Dizzy’s…”
January 4, 2009, 2:39 pm
Filed under: brooklyn | Tags: , , , , , ,

An as-it-happens alert from the Because-I’ve-Run-Out-of-Tears Department, from FIPS:


PARK SLOPE, Brooklyn (FIPSNN) – 10th street resident Aaron Feldman announced plans this morning to wear his IDF T-Shirt to an 11am brunch at Dizzy’s. With Israeli ground troops entering Gaza and the current wave of violence entering it’s 9th day, local analysts predict that Feldman’s move in the largely Palestinian-supporting South Slope could be suicidal.

Feldman, a park slope Hipster and Heeb magazine subscriber, describes his move as one of disgust and defiance.

Read More…



Poogy Tales
March 28, 2008, 4:33 pm
Filed under: jewish, records | Tags: , , ,


Kaveret, Poogy Tales (1973)

Kaveret were– and still are– prog-pop stars in Israel. They met in the IDF and started playing in 1973, putting out this record. “The beginning of something,” someone at some point proclaimed, and the following year saw them representing Israel at the Eurovision contest and touring internationally.

“The Grocery Store” (If you got as much out of Hebrew school as I did, you’ll be happy to know that the song begins slightly after the 4-minute mark.)

I have to say, in circumstances like this it’s a lot nicer to pay $10 on ebay for the original vinyl of this record than to pay $20-some-odd for the CD, released in ’89. It seems inappropriate, somehow, to listen to something like this without a substantive (if dusty) reminder of its yesteryear value. Lord knows what the remaster sounds like, anyway. I really can’t tell how much the world loved Poogy. Can you?

* * *

Waxidermy gets Poogy with it here.

More Poogy delights on youtube here.