Hebrew School


613
April 11, 2007, 5:13 pm
Filed under: music | Tags: , , ,

I am writing a song about the 613 mitzvot– the laws traditionally considered to be given to the Jewish people from God through Moses.

Among them, a litany of incest and bestiality no-no’s:
7 The nakedness of thy father, and the nakedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.
8 The nakedness of thy father’s wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father’s nakedness.
9 The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or the daughter of thy mother, whether born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover.
10 The nakedness of thy son’s daughter, or of thy daughter’s daughter, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover; for theirs is thine own nakedness.
11 The nakedness of thy father’s wife’s daughter, begotten of thy father, she is thy sister, thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.
12 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father’s sister: she is thy father’s near kinswoman.
13 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother’s sister; for she is thy mother’s near kinswoman.
14 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy fathers brother, thou shalt not approach to his wife: she is thine aunt.
15 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy daughter-in-law: she is thy son’ wife; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.
16 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy brother’s wife: it is thy brother’s nakedness.
17 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of a woman and her daughter; thou shalt not take her son’s daughter, or her daughter’s daughter, to uncover her nakedness: they are near kinswomen; it is lewdness.
18 And thou shalt not take a woman to her sister, to be a rival to her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her lifetime.
20 And thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbour’s wife, to defile thyself with her.
21 And thou shalt not give any of thy seed to set them apart to Molech, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I am the LORD.
23 And thou shalt not lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith; neither shall any woman stand before a beast, to lie down thereto; it is perversion.

Some silly ones, too:
19 And thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is impure by her uncleanness.
22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind; it is abomination.

And some morbidly beautiful ones:
1 If one be found slain in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee to possess it, lying in the field, and it be not known who hath smitten him;
2 then thy elders and thy judges shall come forth, and they shall measure unto the cities which are round about him that is slain.
3 And it shall be, that the city which is nearest unto the slain man, even the elders of that city shall take a heifer of the herd, which hath not been wrought with, and which hath not drawn in the yoke.
4 And the elders of that city shall bring down the heifer unto a rough valley, which may neither be plowed nor sown, and shall break the heifer’s neck there in the valley.
5 And the priests the sons of Levi shall come near–for them the LORD thy God hath chosen to minister unto Him, and to bless in the name of the LORD; and according to their word shall every controversy and every stroke be.
6 And all the elders of that city, who are nearest unto the slain man, shall wash their hands over the heifer whose neck was broken in the valley.
7 And they shall speak and say: ‘Our hands have not shed this blood, neither have our eyes seen it.’

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Happy Passover from Abbie Hoffman
April 1, 2007, 5:31 pm
Filed under: film, food, jewish | Tags: , , ,

For your Passover enjoyment, a short film of Abbie Hoffman making gefilte fish from his family’s traditional recipe. 

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more about “U B U W E B – Film & Video: Abbie Hof…“, posted with vodpod